Canswer

I work in a cancer hospital.  When I first got this job, all I could think of was how inspiring it would be to work here.  Sounds strange, I know, but I was really excited about being a part of something that was doing great things.  I was excited to be a part of the clever "Breast Canswer" advertisements and go to the photo shoots of administrators and nurses and doctors- who all play a critical role in saving lives. I really believed that I would be able to watch hope and love flourish in a place like this.  And it does.  Hope and love are most definitely present.  But so is illness and death.

Today, my coworker, a breast cancer survivor, went in for her yearly checkup.  She's been cancer-free for 11 years but she says that every time she has to get checked, she gets extremely sick and nervous, filled with fear that the cancer might come back.

This woman is a believer, with a very sweet heart and a love for Jesus.  So I knew that I could pray for her before she went in, to at least calm her nerves.  After she came back, she explained to me that she just wanted God to tell her it was going to be ok.  That she didn't want this guessing game of not knowing if she's sick or not.

It's hard to relate to her when I've never been sick (as in serious diseases).  I've never lost anyone.  I've never really even seen a terminally sick person until I came here.  (I've lived a VERY sheltered life).  So of course it was easy for me to pray for her.  It was also easy for me to tell her that God has a plan and that He is good and that her faith is encouraging to me.  It was also easy for me to tell her that even if God didn't directly speak to her, that Jesus says, "blessed are those who have not seen, yet have believed."  It was easy for me to tell her to have some faith.

She took everything I said with a sincere smile and a quick thank you email, but I still feel like I haven't been able to help her.  Her appointment today left both of us feeling like life is so out of our own personal control.  I really am so inspired by her faith and by her love staying constant for God, even when things are REALLY rough for her.  She has taught me a lot, in a very short amount of time. 

Now, all I can do is pray that she will stay healthy.  Even though she hasn't yet received a prophetic word or had a vision of Jesus walking towards her, giving her the thumbs up that she's cancer-free (yes, that's how I dream it happens, thanks to facebook), she and I both have faith that He will take care of her, one way or another...